Monday, July 18, 2016

hello joecooke

Hi joecooke


Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

an exception to every rule

J:  There is an exception to every rule.
AC:  Is there an exception to the rule that there is an exception to every rule?

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Redesigning the Dollar

A Federal Court of Appeals ruled today that U.S. money discriminates against blind people.  This is a big victory for the American Council for the Blind, and I don't have any qualms about it - this is a good decision.  The Treasury Department will have to redesign the bills so that people who can't see a dollar bill can still tell it's a dollar bill, or a twenty or whatever.
However, in a stunning victory for the United States government, at this point, from a legal standpoint anyway, money does not discriminate against the poor.  Therefore, nothing has to be done about the problem of people who can't see a dollar bill because they simply don't have one.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

a new disease for super Tuesday

phrase for the day:

electile dysfunction

The inability to be aroused by any of the presidential candidates

pardon me if this was offensive, I heard it from a reliable and conservatives source!

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Boys, boys, boys...

One day a little girl came running into her house yelling, "Mommy, I got five
dollars!" The mother was curious, so she asked her child where she got the five
dollars from.
The little girl replied: ''Tommy down the street gave me five dollars for
doing cartwheel while he sat in the tree.
The mother told her daughter: "Don't you know that Tommy is just trying to see
your panties."
''OOOOhhhh'' said the little girl.
The next day the little girl came running into the house yelling, "Mommy, I
got ten dollars. The mother asked, "Where did you get the ten dollars from?"
The little girl replied, "Tommy down the street gave me ten dollars for doing
a cartwheel while he sat up in the tree and laughed."
The mother replied: "Didn't I tell you that he is...''
Before the mother could finish, the little girl said, ''Wait Mommy! I tricked
him, I didn't wear any panties today.''

Friday, January 25, 2008

Why you should not drink

A tourist sat down next to a man in a downtown Manhattan bar and they got to drinking and talking.
They could see the Empire State building from where they sat, and the tourist made a comment about how tall it was.  The native New Yorker pointed about halfway up and said, "You know, there's an updraft right there.  Most people don't know it, but if you jump off the top of the Empire State building, right there about halfway down that updraft catches you, swirls you around to the other side and slings you right into an open window."
The tourist took another drink and chuckled, but the New Yorker insisted.
"I'll prove it to you," he said.  "Come on."  He bought a pint of whiskey to go and then he dragged that tourist along, up to the observation deck, and then the New Yorker dived over the edge.
The tourist was mortified, but it was but a few minutes later that the native came out of the elevator with a big grin on his face.
"See?" he said.
The tourist just stood there with his mouth open.
"Why don't you try it?"  the New Yorker said.
The tourist shook his head.  Even drunk as he was, he couldn't believe what he'd just seen.
"Really," said the native.  "There's an updraft that catches you and slings you around.  You just ride the elevator back up and you can do it again.  Watch." 
He did it again, jumped right over the edge.  A few minutes later he came back up again.  He took a swig from his pint and handed the bottle to the tourist.  The tourist took a long swig and then jumped over the edge.
"Wheeeee!" he cried as he fell to his death.  He left a huge splat mark on the pavement.
The New Yorker went back to the bar and sat down.
The bartender stopped wiping off the bar for a moment.  He put his hands on his hips and said, "When you get drunk, Superman, you're a real asshole."