Why you should not drink

A tourist sat down next to a man in a downtown Manhattan bar and they got to drinking and talking.

 

They could see the Empire State building from where they sat, and the tourist made a comment about how tall it was.  The native New Yorker pointed about halfway up and said, "You know, there's an updraft right there.  Most people don't know it, but if you jump off the top of the Empire State building, right there about halfway down that updraft catches you, swirls you around to the other side and slings you right into an open window."

 

The tourist took another drink and chuckled, but the New Yorker insisted.

 

"I'll prove it to you," he said.  "Come on."  He bought a pint of whiskey to go and then he dragged that tourist along, up to the observation deck, and then the New Yorker dived over the edge.

 

The tourist was mortified, but it was but a few minutes later that the native came out of the elevator with a big grin on his face.

 

"See?" he said.

 

The tourist just stood there with his mouth open.

 

"Why don't you try it?"  the New Yorker said.

 

The tourist shook his head.  Even drunk as he was, he couldn't believe what he'd just seen.

 

"Really," said the native.  "There's an updraft that catches you and slings you around.  You just ride the elevator back up and you can do it again.  Watch." 

 

He did it again, jumped right over the edge.  A few minutes later he came back up again.  He took a swig from his pint and handed the bottle to the tourist.  The tourist took a long swig and then jumped over the edge.

 

"Wheeeee!" he cried as he fell to his death.  He left a huge splat mark on the pavement.

 

The New Yorker went back to the bar and sat down.

 

The bartender stopped wiping off the bar for a moment.  He put his hands on his hips and said, "When you get drunk, Superman, you're a real asshole."