Boys, boys, boys...

One day a little girl came running into her house yelling, "Mommy, I got five

dollars!" The mother was curious, so she asked her child where she got the five

dollars from.

The little girl replied: ''Tommy down the street gave me five dollars for

doing cartwheel while he sat in the tree.

The mother told her daughter: "Don't you know that Tommy is just trying to see

your panties."

''OOOOhhhh'' said the little girl.

The next day the little girl came running into the house yelling, "Mommy, I

got ten dollars. The mother asked, "Where did you get the ten dollars from?"

The little girl replied, "Tommy down the street gave me ten dollars for doing

a cartwheel while he sat up in the tree and laughed."

The mother replied: "Didn't I tell you that he is...''

Before the mother could finish, the little girl said, ''Wait Mommy! I tricked

him, I didn't wear any panties today.''

Why you should not drink

A tourist sat down next to a man in a downtown Manhattan bar and they got to drinking and talking.

 

They could see the Empire State building from where they sat, and the tourist made a comment about how tall it was.  The native New Yorker pointed about halfway up and said, "You know, there's an updraft right there.  Most people don't know it, but if you jump off the top of the Empire State building, right there about halfway down that updraft catches you, swirls you around to the other side and slings you right into an open window."

 

The tourist took another drink and chuckled, but the New Yorker insisted.

 

"I'll prove it to you," he said.  "Come on."  He bought a pint of whiskey to go and then he dragged that tourist along, up to the observation deck, and then the New Yorker dived over the edge.

 

The tourist was mortified, but it was but a few minutes later that the native came out of the elevator with a big grin on his face.

 

"See?" he said.

 

The tourist just stood there with his mouth open.

 

"Why don't you try it?"  the New Yorker said.

 

The tourist shook his head.  Even drunk as he was, he couldn't believe what he'd just seen.

 

"Really," said the native.  "There's an updraft that catches you and slings you around.  You just ride the elevator back up and you can do it again.  Watch." 

 

He did it again, jumped right over the edge.  A few minutes later he came back up again.  He took a swig from his pint and handed the bottle to the tourist.  The tourist took a long swig and then jumped over the edge.

 

"Wheeeee!" he cried as he fell to his death.  He left a huge splat mark on the pavement.

 

The New Yorker went back to the bar and sat down.

 

The bartender stopped wiping off the bar for a moment.  He put his hands on his hips and said, "When you get drunk, Superman, you're a real asshole."

You have to have the pic to appreciate the joke!

If the pic didn't come through, go to http://breakingthefunnybone.blogspot.com/ to see it.

(There is some resemblance to my son, Carter.)

Parents take note: alternatives to spanking!

The other day I was talking to one of my younger buddies about methods used to discipline children.

We talked about "time outs", grounding, holding back "rewards" until the child displayed desired behavior etc. One of the things we discussed was the act of spanking and my friend explained that no, he does not spank any of his children.

He explained that what he does is to take the misbehaving child out for a ride in the car and talk. He said that usually this works and that the child calms down fairly quickly and really doesn't take too much time.

By removing the child, in this case his son, from the immediate situation and providing a change of scenery, the child is allowed to focus on something different. Once the child has the opportunity to change perspective, things get better quickly and the child has better understanding of his place within the family and begins to understand the families concept of acceptable behavior.

He kindly shared a picture of the process which I share with you now.